Today's Chuckle

[Mike $]

I called an old school friend who had become an engineer, and asked what was he doing.
He explained that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel within a constrained environment".
I was very impressed......
Then on further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

 

[John Colter]

I called an old school friend who had become an engineer, and asked what was he doing.
He explained that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel within a constrained environment".
I was very impressed......
Then on further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

A woman with whom I used to work was asked what her husband did. "He works with computers", she replied.

I learned later that he was a ticket clerk on the railways.

 

[peanuts56]

I may have posted this story before, not entirely sure.
One of our first grade teachers had a little boy who could be a handful. Apparently, his parents used a lot of salty language at home and Dylan sometimes did as well. He was a pretty good kid but could really have his moments.
Our auditorium was often rented out to performing groups in the area for weekend shows. A local dance troupe had rented the auditorium and was performing The Nutcracker during the holiday season. They volunteered to do a Friday afternoon performance for the school.
The performance is pretty long and some of the younger kids were getting antsy. I got up and went back to my room to get some work done. Dylan's teacher always made him sit next to her during any performance to make sure he behaved. Finally, he had enough, turned to his teacher and said, Jesus Christ woman, how long is this show? She had to turn away so he wouldn't see her laughing.

 

[Voran]

I may have posted this story before, not entirely sure.
One of our first grade teachers had a little boy who could be a handful. Apparently, his parents used a lot of salty language at home and Dylan sometimes did as well. He was a pretty good kid but could really have his moments.
Our auditorium was often rented out to performing groups in the area for weekend shows. A local dance troupe had rented the auditorium and was performing The Nutcracker during the holiday season. They volunteered to do a Friday afternoon performance for the school.
The performance is pretty long and some of the younger kids were getting antsy. I got up and went back to my room to get some work done. Dylan's teacher always made him sit next to her during any performance to make sure he behaved. Finally, he had enough, turned to his teacher and said, Jesus Christ woman, how long is this show? She had to turn away so he wouldn't see her laughing.

I could not be a teacher. I'd struggle to act like an authority figure and give punishments when teen boys inevitably made fart noises and told penis jokes and otherwise acted out. I would fall over laughing.

 

[John Colter]

Back in the old wild west, three gamblers were travelling on a stage coach and passed the time playing poker and blackjack. The fourth passenger was a preacher. This worthy gentleman lectured them on the evils of card games and talked them into betting on a spelling bee instead.

After the preacher had gone on his way, having taken money off all of them, the three discussed the encounter:

"That there preacher sure could spell some fancy words!"

"Yeah but I reckon he was cheatin' - 'H-O-S-P-I-C-E'? That ain't how ya spell it!"

 

[Voran]

I was playing Achaea. A miner was rude to me after I went on a quest to retrieve his lost water bottle...so I farted on him.

Yup. There is a command 'fart' in Achaea.

I am 33. I really should grow up

 

[Patty]

I was playing Achaea. A miner was rude to me after I went on a quest to retrieve his lost water bottle...so I farted on him.

Yup. There is a command 'fart' in Achaea.

I am 33. I really should grow up

Too late now.

 

[kkimura]

I'm 74, "growing up" is way over rated.

 

[rainbow21]

 

[Another Ukulele]

LOLOLOLOL. I remember one year I posted on Facebook how I desperately wanted to get married and have children but had left it too late. I got an outpouring of commiseration...then dropped it on people that it was April 1

once upon a time, I wrote on the white board in the break room of our public service blue collar group
Today, April 1, Friday, all crews can leave 2 hours early in response to Good Friday.
Then I realized far too many would not understand APRIL 1 — we would NEVER get a religious holiday off.

 

[mikelz777]

I don't know how many times this has been true for me watching cooking shows and thinking, "Who has all these exotic ingredients sitting in their pantry?"

 

[TerryM]

I don't know how many times this has been true for me watching cooking shows and thinking, "Who has all these exotic ingredients sitting in their pantry?"

View attachment 171258

I don't even have a pantry.

 

[mikelz777]

I don't even have a pantry.

We do if you call a cabinet with 4 shelves a pantry.

 

[Voran]

I don't know how many times this has been true for me watching cooking shows and thinking, "Who has all these exotic ingredients sitting in their pantry?"

View attachment 171258

I read the word dodo as do-do lol.

 

[Ukecaster]

No pans in mine, just Spam, we call it the Spamtry

 

[kkimura]

I thought spam grew on spamtrees.

 

[Another Ukulele]

I thought spam grew on spamtrees.

Actually, I always thought Spam was derived from Spigs.
Ham comes from Pigs grow by pig farmers
Spam comes from Spigs grown by Spig farmers

 

[mikelz777]

 

[Nickie]

 

[Nickie]