Distressed finishes: getting out of hand?

[TimWilson]

He reviewed somebody else's faux distressed look fairly recently, and he was indeed not amused. What especially bothered him was that the random encounters with a sander didn't have anything to do with where the wear would actually occur, which would at least have made some kind of sense.

Faux patina of age, I'm all for, especially as my own aging lacks anything resembling a patina. But that "here a little, there a little" approach to faking wear and tear is, as @kkimura notes, distressing in itself.

I found the review from @bazmaz I was thinking of, and it's of a Martin T1 Streetmaster. Here's the quote I was thinking of, my emphasis added.

Subjective disclosure alert! I really REALLY don't like road worn instruments. I simply don't get why people pay for an instrument to look worn. If I want a worn instrument I'd rather it was done by ME though actually playing the thing, not a guy on a buffing wheel in the manufacturing facility. And so it is here - in patches around the body the darker outer stain has been buffed back to give the effect of wear and tear. It's not 'damage' per-se, but rather just thinner finish patches. And I'm sorry, but I don't like it much. The 'wear' just seems random and not in places that an instrument would naturally wear through play. It looks artificial and odd.

Then later adds,

I think the worn finish is either mis-guided from the off or just badly implemented. It's like they made a perfectly decent mahogany tenor, decided to meddle with it on the buffing machines and spoiled it.

He notes that he thought very highly of the build and sound, and if you like the looks, he recommends the instrument -- but he didn't like the looks, and so couldn't recommend it for himself! The perfect way to review it, I think. Shine a light on what's subjective, and leave room for people to have different opinions. Few people reviewing anything hold this in balance this as well as Barry does.

I'm going to assume that Flight doesn't think that this look is for everyone. Certainly not for me. What might have made the difference for me is if the wear patterns looked like they came from actual wear, rather than this more random look...but that's just me.

 

[Oldscruggsfan]

Every now and then I browse the Southern Ukulele Store website to see what's new in their range of soprano. Today it was this laminate model from Flight, the "DUS330 Spruce/Zebrawood Soprano Ukulele - RELIC FINISH".

Here's their photo of the back of the instrument:

View attachment 149551

Is it just me or does it look as if this poor uke got into an argument with a belt sander? The front is OK, mostly looking grubby more than anything , and it has the disappointingly common guitar-style tuners, but the back looks absurd.

Sure, Flight is doing this for perfectly valid commercial reasons, not entirely distant from painting a ukulele pink or staining mahogany dark brown, yet there seems to be a level of clumsy artifice about these distressed finishes that seems silly. Most of the negative comments I've heard about Martin's Streetmaster tenor have been concerned with its seemingly random artificial wear patches. While some people like the fact that it sort of takes the pressure off and makes new scratches and dings less painful to see, others see it as a form of musician cosplay.

My "step up" UKE was an Ohana SK-38 which had what they called a reliced finish—a word I am apparently incapable of reading as other than re-liced—which was a slightly uneven dark stain. I quite liked it, but it was hardly necessary and it did make me conscious of a degree of fakery about the instrument. These heavily distressed finishes though… Ah, maybe I'm just whingeing for no reason. Do they make the difference to you when it comes to buying a particular instrument?

As my avatar will attest, my aesthetics bar is set fairly low. Even so, IMHO, that uke looks like it was run over by a street sweeper after its owner sobered up and chunked it out the window. The fake grain pattern was bad enough but then they took it too far. This is actually worse but along the same lines as clothiers ripping holes in $300.00 jeans. With the exception of briar-proof, tough as nails Carharts, I've never paid over $40.00 for a pair of jeans (or for bib overalls, for that matter) and have always avoided tearing 'em. My 88-y-o mother has a word for this: Foolishness.

 

[ploverwing]

That looks fake and ugly......if only there was a word for that,

Faddy?

 

[ploverwing]

From SUS Description :
"The key thing though is that the aging extends to the neck and the uke feels 'lived in'. It's fun to look at and even more fun to play..."

I think the front looks good ; why couldn't they just carry that finish all over .

From Flight Music :
https://flightmusic.com/product/flight-dus330-relic/

Made of distressed laminate spruce and laminate zebrawood, the Flight DUS330 Relic is a very unique ukulele. Many players tell us that an instrument that looks like it’s been through a tornado, a fire, and gigged a few thousand times is the most beautiful thing they have ever seen. Is it the promise of a broken-in feel, maybe that every ding and scratch tells a tale, or the romantic memory of the instruments our idols played? The answer – is all of those. And while we can’t replicate the history of an instrument, we present you with the first ever “distressed” ukulele (we checked).. It has that “broken-in feel” and will remind you of some of the most memorable moments in history. A unique “distressed” look gives the Flight DUS330 Relic a cool vintage vibe. We wanted it to feel just like an old friend, with whom you’ve been through a lot.

Of course - that's the sales pitch. They're not going to say "looks like crap" when they're trying to sell it, lol.

But, to each their own. If someone loves it and wants that look, and it sounds good, then obviously there's a market for it and good for SUS and Flight for capitalizing on it. It's a meh from me.

 

[Oldscruggsfan]

Faddy?

Fugly.

 

[Oldscruggsfan]

I think @bazmaz would blow a gasket if he reviewed that…

I love Baz's word 'strident'. He often uses it in reference to a uke's generally lousy sound but it also seems appropriate as to the "re-liced" look.

 

[Veritas99]

SUS also posted a photo of a "new" Flight Pathfinder that had the faux wear treatment given to electric guitars.

As someone referred to it earlier in this thread, just musical cosplay. Trying to make it look like a cool vintage or otherwise well-worn/loved instrument, without anyone actually playing it enough to have those qualities. Mostly looks like someone hit it randomly with a belt sander.

 

[Wiggy]

If you can't make history, fake it.

Why would Fender and Martin, two companies with extensive histories, disingenuize (new term) themselves?

This reminds me of the claims; "genuine imitation leather," and "leatherette," and"vegan leather," and "real manufactured gemstones," and "wood plastic composites."

From Vinyl Institute:
They are more consistent since natural flaws have been engineered out
They are often more durable
They are ‘molecule efficient’ and can be readily recycled
They are easy to maintain often requiring just soap and water to clean
They are impervious to water
They can save water with few water main breaks and no biofilm growth or rust (in PVC pipe)
They are often more hygienic because of clean, impervious surfaces
They are not efficient conductors of heat (so they do well in energy saving windows)

Yeah? So what

 

[richntacoma]

That is just ugly AF

 

[mjh42]

My brother has an mid '80's KOA Gibson Explorer the former owner did some "relicing" to it, certainly didn't increase the value of that guitar.

Not my thing.

Certainly honest wear and age will show on an instrument, but no, buy new on purpose, nope.

 

[Wiggy]

...IMHO, that uke looks like it was run over by a street sweeper after its owner sobered up and chunked it out the window. ...

To riff off of Oldscruggsfan:

Even an old "fell-out-the-back-of-the-truck, grand-kids-did-who-knows-what-to, left-in-backyard-after-a-campfire-and-the-dogs-did... -the-next-morning-on, was forgotten-in-the-grass-until-Fall, and-got-caught-up-in-a-brush hog" ukulele could not look that bad.

 

[DJ Mango]

To riff off of Oldscruggsfan:

Even an old "fell-out-the-back-of-the-truck, grand-kids-did-who-knows-what-to, left-in-backyard-after-a-campfire-and-the-dogs-did... -the-next-morning-on, was forgotten-in-the-grass-until-Fall, and-got-caught-up-in-a-brush hog" ukulele could not look that bad.

That may be the point .
I think this release may be guerrilla marketing .

"Guerilla marketing is a way to drive publicity and, as a result, brand awareness by promoting using unconventional methods designed to evoke surprise, wonder, or shock." hubspot.com

 

[Patty]

That looks fake and ugly......if only there was a word for that

“Fake” and “ugly” are good enough.

 

[BigJackBrass]

I think this release may be guerrilla marketing

I think it may have been played by a gorilla.

 

[EDW]

I think it may have been played by a gorilla.

I know it is a trade secret, but this is their distressing department

 

[TimWilson]

I know it is a trade secret, but this is their distressing department

See, now THAT I'd pay extra for! Give me some gorilla footprints on the back, some handprints on the neck, some actual dirt, maybe a little straw, and NOW we're talking!

 

[Wiggy]

Let's just let it all hang out. Distressed kayak, anyone? Go Bears!

 

[rustydusty]

Ya wanna see some real patina? Check out Willie Nelson’s guitar…
I pride myself in keeping my instruments in the best playable condition.
This includes set up, strings and cleanliness.
Sure, I have some instruments with dings, but I also have some that are 20+ years old that are almost “mint”, and I do play them… My sister gave me this baritone ukulele probably built in the’40s that doesn’t have patina like that…

 

[UkeOkay]

This martin took a beating when I was a kid. I still plays just fine.

 

[Mike $]

The only instrument with a distressed finish I really enjoy is Willie Nelson's guitar Trigger. His guy did a great job finishing that one. Almost looks like real wear and tear.